If you don't read anything else on my site, I encourage you to please take the time to read this page....
Don't we all have this itch? This itch for something more? Even King Solomon in all his riches had a great itch! I found mine - Read how my Itch got Scratched!
Most people don't like to read other people's webpage stories - They are too personal and many of them - just downright boring - long and drawn out - How I wish I had someone's story to read before our lives got All Covered Up. (Well, I did have someone's story to read, the Greatest Story ever told, God's own Love Letter, I just didn't take the time to read it or to Listen to His Words.) What you will read happened in 'good economic times'. So, as we enter into years of uncertainty, please take the time to read my story - this may never happen to you - but it's my
prayer that it will touch your life and give you strength to help others.
I dedicate this page to Pastor Jack who taught me how to tell others about Jesus!
Lynn's Story - God's Plans or My Plans?
American Idol finalist, Chris Sly sings a beautiful song that I can relate to. Part of the lyrics are "Empty Me of Me so I can be filled with You". and furthermore, I DID have the sweet life and it got in My Blood! Well, that's a problem. But I didn't know it at the time. From my childhood years until recently, I have always lived a 'more than comfortable life' ~ traveled many parts of the world, basically I just didn't have limits things that I know now doesn't mean too much. But I thought that 'This is the Life'. But I lacked something ...... an Ear to Listen and the Willingness to Submit!
My recent life happenings wasn't Random Selection - I'm sure of that - my testimony has already touched too many lives - I was Chosen -And I believe that God chose to 'Empty Me of Me' so I would be filled with Him - because what if He hadn't? And it has taught me how to keep the Greatest Commandment to Love one another - and a very difficult lesson - on how to forgive those who have hurt you in your past, present, and future. Read my story, and as you read, please ask yourself some of the questions that I had to ask - I thank God every day for the life that He Chose me -- Just as Job was Chosen by God. I now live in peace - sure, there are still ups and down - and the enemy continues to try to tear me down - but now I have a Shield and a Great Defender - My Adonai!
....................................................here's what happend!
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It starts like this:
I had a great life – in fact, an almost perfect life. I have always been a woman with alot of success and you may say --the entrepreneural type. In 1994, my husband and I opened a wholesale greenhouse company, Covered in Bloom, which was originally planned to be a small company where I could be a 'stay at home/business mom" and care for my two sons, one who has special needs. But by November of that same year, I learned that he no longer wanted to be married to me. This was a big shock since he and my father had been working hard to get the 1st phase of the greenhouses constructed. By early 1995 (Mother's Day to be exact), my husband moved out of our home and I soon had the primary responsibility of being a single mom and raising a 3 1/2 year old special needs son and a 6 month old baby, and a new business with a big 'start up' debt load attached. And on top of losing my husband, my father, who built the first of several phases of Covered in Bloom, died a quick death in March of 1995 with inoperable brain cancer. My father never got to see the results of what he created - nor did he experience all the joy of the lives he touched through the beauty of the creation of his haven for flowers.
Now I was faced with all the responsibilities of single parenting, as well as running a new business. I can remember making a sales call to one of my first clients to buy flowers for their landscape company, crying the whole way and feeling really insecure about whether or not this was going to work. But I suppose my 'go-get-em personality' kicked in at some time. Within one year, this small family owned company “blossomed” into 100,000 sf of climate controlled growing space and over 10 acres of open growing space, with 12 employees servicing 5 states. In otherwords, Me (Lynn Henning), a single mom, owned the largest and fastest growing agricultural wholesale greenhouse company in the Southeast, (as quoted by the Atlanta Journal Constitution and Southeastern Floriculture). I was in newspapers, on covers of magazines - people were amazed, influenced, and encouraged by the story. Covered in Bloom was awarded the 1996 Summer Olympics account right here in Atlanta, and I could go on and on about the wonderful business opportunities that came our way.
We not only had a successful wholesale plant business, but we decided add a retail flair by buiding a 3,500 SF fresh air Butterfly Conservatory, (Covered in Butterflies), and hosting children's field trips, senior citizen outings, and guest of all ages from all around metro Atlanta. We had enough species of butterflies and other animals on our farm to keep people of all ages entertained, along with the peaceful setting of the butterfly conservatory that drew literally thousands of people during the spring and fall seasons. In fact, the Atlanta Journal and Constitution featured our farm on their page "Things to do in the Metro Atlanta area with children". Wow - what a compliment to us!
I had a life that I thought would stop nowhere. I now had three lovely children with a new daughter (another story, another time), valuable realestate in an upscale area, 18 employees now to help me with the business and my home, and wonderful AuPairs from all over the world to help with the children. Plus I was able to devote alot of time, actively involved with my children's activities as well as the ministries in my church. I would say that I was a religious person-I attended church regularly, served in the church, was a good person, but I soon learned that this wasn’t enough. Being Religious can sometimes be a cultural "lable" but being "Saved and a Follower of God" is a totally different ball-game!
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Mirrow Magic
Things are really sounding good up to this point, but actually this is when you walk into a concrete wall and are reminded that .....We are NOT in charge! We are not God! Stop bowing down in front of a full length mirrow each morning! Someone greater than us is in charge and has a plan for us. And remember that living in the 'Bible Belt' is scary. Too many people know about the Bible and there are alot of churches around, but there are few who KNOW THE LORD OF THE BIBLE AND HAVE A MOMENT BY MOMENT AND DAY BY DAY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. Too many of us think we have a ‘get out of hell free card' just by being a member of a church or knowing some Bible stories.
And think about this---- maybe we thought we were even being 'saved' at age 9 or 10 but living a life totally apart from God for decades upon decades. Actually, I was raised in a church where revival pastors talked about Hell and Sin so much that you thought that maybe they had been there - they knew so much about it.
I was still "proud of myself" and filling my plate, rather than giving all the credit for my earthy achievements to the Master Creator who gave them all to me for His Pleasure and Enjoyment. I agressively kept increasing the size of my business and the peremiters of my committments without discussing it with God first or surrendering it all to Him.
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I still remember the day when I didn't listen:
When things seem to "fit into place", well, you just think it is meant to be - you think that God is Blessing you - and you just soar into your own self - that's when you didn't talk to Him first about your life's choices. You only go to God when things are bad - and you think, well, I can handle this - I don't need God on this one - well, DUH???? Just who are we fooling? I can still remember when my demise began. I was standing on the hill of my property looking at the property next door for sale - all half million dollars of it - and I just felt that it was 'meant to be' - I 'had to have it'. It was everything we needed in order to double our company's size and be more profitable." In fact, it was everything I needed to have more money and to be able to buy vacation homes that I had been seriously looking at - one at the beach, the other in the mountains. It was going to be a GREAT DECISION - wow, did I get put in my place-
I was standing on the hill looking over at the property for sale, and it almost felt like I was being pushed sort of like when the wind is blowing against you. I felt something tell me that now wasn't the time for this. And I know now that it wasn't the pizza I had eaten the night before that gave me the knot in my stomach. I was expecting a baby, and I already had so much on my family's plate with a special needs son and another son that needed me so much.
But I planted my feet firmly into the ground and kept looking at what seemed so perfect, and I called the banker as I always did, and told him what I wanted to buy and we closed 3 days later. Remember, I was the woman who could do what I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It started happening in 2000.....
With over 200,000 sf of greenhouse production space and now servicing 5 states, a major client bankrupted and struck my company into financial devestation. And if that wasn't enough, our Butterfly Conservatory Director lost her life to brain cancer and is now in Heaven enjoying many beautiful butterflies. Few of us remained and we worked harder than ever, and everyone pitched in, because it had become a "lifestyle" for most, but yet some had to be laid off. Then on top of all the catastrophies, my long term assistant was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and had to resign to begin her emergency treatments. (She is now in remission, praise God) My wonderful Greenhouse Manager (soul mate) got involved with drugs and we had to ask him to leave, because he wasn't willing to receive the help we offered him. And my assistant manager continued to struggle with diabetes and the horrible pain it can bring upon you.
Even with this much devestation, we thought we could survive if we kept downsizing, but that didn't cut it either. I was still forgetting that it wasn't ME that could make it. I didn't pray - I didn't talk to God - I didn't surrender - I just worried.
Then I suffered a minor stroke, and it took a toll on me physically -- some things in which I think I am still recovering from. Soon after that, I was diagnosed with a paralysis illness that affects the larynx and results in a loss of speech. It took months to diagnose; but during that time, I could not speak audibly at all. And since I was the VOICE of the company, we lost business, lots and lots of it although some customers remained faithful. Faxing and e-mailing was a good alternative, but it still didn't cut it.
The company closed its doors as of December of 2004. We were down to myself and one loyal employee (hispanic, no doubt), but we just couldn't hold on. Covered in Bloom and Butterflies was gone - I was forced to sell my two homes for far less than they were worth, just to pay off bank loans. They sold quick, and that left myself and my children with nowhere to live............ homeless?
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and then I had to make the toughest decision of my life.
With everything that was happening in our lives, it created a tremendous amount of stress on my children and myself. The only thing I knew to do was to ask my ex-husband if he would take the boys since he only lived about 3 miles away. I felt in my heart that it would only be temporary. It took councelling from mentors, family, my pastors and alot of prayer to make this decision. But my oldest son could not take these changes, and I didn't know what the next step would be. My daughter and I didn't have a home at the time, only just the bits and pieces of the farm were left.
And then during this horrible transition time, I was notified from my ex-husband that he would be moving with the children - he e-mailed a new address, a new telephone number which was over 500 miles away in the mountains of Virginia. I suppose I would have rethought that decision over and over had I known this was going to happen. Now it would become impossible to see them on a regular basis-all their soccer games, wrestling, school programs - IMPOSSIBLE. And to modify legally - well, that would take thousands of dollars, which is something I didn't have. And he was planning his new life and it didn't include making things easy for me to see the children as often as I could.
This was like the Greatest Death that you could ever face. A Mother doesn't lose her children - but somehow my greed, even though I didn't realize it at the time had cost me my family, my home, my business - my life! No-one can ever know the pain that I suffered through, and the pain that we all suffer through. This was also going to be my first Christmas without them. For 11 and 14 years, I had raised my two sons with limited visitation from my former husband (like is awarded in most divorces), and now it appeared that until they became of age to make their own choices, they would live far away from me with their dad.
I would somehow have to start humbling myself - because this wasn't supposed to happen. I wondered why was this happening to me, what had I done wrong - why does bad things happen to good people, just why would God allow this to happen. And I was reminded of Job - oh yea, this wasn't random selection - I was chosen - now Why? Why me? Why should I have to suffer like this? But I vowed to keep my faith in God because I knew that He would not let me down - even though I had made such a mess out of our lives. My God made me to want to love Him so intimately that I would depend on Him for my every movement and my every breath. Afterall, He created me for His Purpose, not My Purpose. The words of James 1: 2-4 was the answer.
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The Ruins
What was not sold was destroyed. I watched the farm being dismantled piece by piece; I wept with sadness of all the years of labor and love that had gone into building this dream company and I thought of my father who worked so hard while he was suffering with headaches, not knowing that this was the brain cancer that would end his life. I watched bulldozers pushing the materials into a large pile to be taken to landfields, and I just couldn't stand it. It was not only the greenhouses, the hundreds of thousands of plants that were still unsold on the grounds, but it was also my furniture and possessions that had been stored in a large greenhouse until we could buy a new home. The plastic had caved in during a harsh winter storm and everything was flooded, mildewed and ruined. A lifetime of pictures, collections of antiques, our clothing, everything - just like a fire, but a flood of rain, ice, and wind. It was brutally painful. I had to keep reminding myself that God didn't create me for comfort, but for character. Wow, was this ever a test!
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The Wake-Up Call
It was a cold and rainy winter, the kind that makes you depressed even if you don't have anything to be depressed about, but one day a beautiful blue sky opened and I looked into the Heavens and smiled at My King! The words of Matthew 6: 19 - 21 echoed through the vastness of the empty land and I suddenly realized that I am here for just a short while; and my life here is a dress rehearsal for what is to come. And the weaping stopped, I smiled, I chuckled and the sadness of the destruction dissappeared. The Lord spoke to me that day and reminded me that my earthly possessions were of no value. It was a very clear picture.
What great words - 'where your treasure is- there will be your heart' - I think I remixed that verse all my life - because I know where my treasure is - and it's with Christ and my heart is with him completely. You know, He was giving me Life's Greatest Gift- He released me of my enormous responsibilities and "stuff" I had accommulated in order to be able to serve Him greater! He taught me a valuable lesson of seeking his guidance First! He gave me this opportunity to use my website to tell others about how Faith in Jesus Christ can get you through the day and become your footsteps into Heaven. It reminds me that in the midst of the storm, His Grace is sufficient!
Yes, my "Commander and Chief" has bigger plans - I am certain of that - and He WILL reveal them to me. Because it isn't all over yet.
So right now I'm just hanging' out - just waiting - and you can be assured that my heart is open and my ears are quick to hear the Voice that guides me! Sure, I have some hopes and dreams that the farm will start over again on a much smaller scale, but there is no doubt that Christ will be the Master Builder.
So joyfully I lift my hands in praise, I thank the Maker who humbly brought me to my small home- (a real fixer-upper), a mini-farm that has potential, with a pond that reminds me 'who walked on water' - and where the sunset seems to never end - and the stars tuck me in each night.
God Bless you All; and as you read my Testimony, I'd love for you to share yours with me. Does this mean that we're perfect because we love God? Does this mean that we don't have train-wrecked lives? Absolutely not!!! In fact, I believe, based on God's word, that we are in a position to foul-up even greater - because when we put our trust in God, evil lurks and can snatch us up if we're not careful!
*****************************************************************************
So, What's Up Now - it's 2009?
The story continues when God began revealing His plans for me in May of 2007 - Four Greenhouses have been constructed by people who love me from my church family. And that story is another miracle in itself- My dear friend Nancy called me and asked me what I was doing on Memorial Day weekend? Silly me, I thought we were being invited to a picnic - well, no, a group of wonderful Christ Followers had volunteered to erect the greenhouses that weekend! And I had only mentioned greenhouses to her one time in all our conversations - that was certainly a God thing!
I serve as a part-time faculty member with my church of 14 years in Kingdom Kids (an hour away from home). I love every moment of my work - spending hours of your day thinking "God" is a good thing! That's when it's good to "take your work home with you".
I am busy working on my e-book and my video on "Talkin' bout Jesus". Do you sort of get the idea that I love to Talk about Jesus!
Many ask about my children -
*My daughter lives with me in our little home on the pond--An All-American Girl Home....Read about her on Logan's Lapbratz
*My sons still live in Virginia with their father, but visit as often as they can - it's tough - airline tickets are expensive and they get few week-long breaks like our schools in Georgia - But they are happy and well-adjusted - being teens, I suppose that it's good for them to have a father figure. And I know that my youngest son has become especially close to him, especially since his dad missed alot of his early childhood- I know that my son is aware of that and very sensitive to forgive his dad and love him back!
They are just like most children from broken families, they wish it had never happened.
*My oldest son has attended Woodrow Wilson Rehabilitation College for Post-Secondary Occupational training and job placement. It is my hope that in just a year from now, he will come home to live with us as we help him learn to live independantly (but here on our farm). He is growing big and strong and handsome and has held a part-time job while attending school and I'm so proud of him. That's one answer to a prayer!
* My middle son loves LaCrosse and is good at it - It would be his dream to have a scholorship~and the girls are just loving him (blonde hair/blue eyes Yoo-Hoo)! And he has attended a church with a family at the bottom of the mountain in the area that he lives in - Thank you Jerry, for driving up the mountain to pick up Connor every Sunday! I may never meet Jerry, but I know I'll see him in heaven!
We all miss each other enormously - there are never dry eyes as we meet and then have to part again. There have been several occasions that they have talked about coming home, but I suppose the timing isn't right (God's timing.........because I don't try to make things happen any longer)
You see, folks, God is BIG - so big that you can't shut doors on Him! He takes the bad and turns it into good - you can't always see it - but it does happen for those who trust Him. I just wish I would have trusted Him sooner - but you see, My God is like a Big Daddy up in the sky with a book in His lap, and each day He turns a page - and most of the page is written, but He gives us enough free will to fill in the blanks - It's my prayer that we will all think about those blank lines and fill them in with Love for one another and Trust for Our Lord!
And Me, well, I am so filled with the Love of Jesus Christ that if I had any more, I would just burst - I'm sure now that I have my permenant passport to Heaven - and my website ----it my prayer that you will examine yourself to make sure you have yours too! Please, do it - do it right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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In Summary
All through the Bible, we have examples of how God suddenly showed Himself strong on behalf of His people. But sometimes when we've struggled in an area for a long time, it's easy to just give up and accept things the way they are. One of the enemy’s favorite lies is to tell you that nothing is ever going to change. He’ll tell you that you’re never going to get well, that your marriage isn’t going to work out, that you’re never going to break that addiction. But I want to tell you today, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been in those circumstances, God can change things in an instant! In a split second of time, He can turn it all around. One touch of God’s power can heal your body. One touch of His favor can promote you. One touch of His goodness can solve that problem. Just one touch from Almighty God can instantly change your life.
Eternity is too long.............to be wrong!
Keep my site bookmarked
and most of all,
Be Covered in His Blessings!
My recent life happenings wasn't Random Selection - I'm sure of that - my testimony has already touched too many lives - I was Chosen -And I believe that God chose to 'Empty Me of Me' so I would be filled with Him - because what if He hadn't? And it has taught me how to keep the Greatest Commandment to Love one another - and a very difficult lesson - on how to forgive those who have hurt you in your past, present, and future. Read my story, and as you read, please ask yourself some of the questions that I had to ask - I thank God every day for the life that He Chose me -- Just as Job was Chosen by God. I now live in peace - sure, there are still ups and down - and the enemy continues to try to tear me down - but now I have a Shield and a Great Defender - My Adonai!
....................................................here's what happend!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It starts like this:
I had a great life – in fact, an almost perfect life. I have always been a woman with alot of success and you may say --the entrepreneural type. In 1994, my husband and I opened a wholesale greenhouse company, Covered in Bloom, which was originally planned to be a small company where I could be a 'stay at home/business mom" and care for my two sons, one who has special needs. But by November of that same year, I learned that he no longer wanted to be married to me. This was a big shock since he and my father had been working hard to get the 1st phase of the greenhouses constructed. By early 1995 (Mother's Day to be exact), my husband moved out of our home and I soon had the primary responsibility of being a single mom and raising a 3 1/2 year old special needs son and a 6 month old baby, and a new business with a big 'start up' debt load attached. And on top of losing my husband, my father, who built the first of several phases of Covered in Bloom, died a quick death in March of 1995 with inoperable brain cancer. My father never got to see the results of what he created - nor did he experience all the joy of the lives he touched through the beauty of the creation of his haven for flowers.
Now I was faced with all the responsibilities of single parenting, as well as running a new business. I can remember making a sales call to one of my first clients to buy flowers for their landscape company, crying the whole way and feeling really insecure about whether or not this was going to work. But I suppose my 'go-get-em personality' kicked in at some time. Within one year, this small family owned company “blossomed” into 100,000 sf of climate controlled growing space and over 10 acres of open growing space, with 12 employees servicing 5 states. In otherwords, Me (Lynn Henning), a single mom, owned the largest and fastest growing agricultural wholesale greenhouse company in the Southeast, (as quoted by the Atlanta Journal Constitution and Southeastern Floriculture). I was in newspapers, on covers of magazines - people were amazed, influenced, and encouraged by the story. Covered in Bloom was awarded the 1996 Summer Olympics account right here in Atlanta, and I could go on and on about the wonderful business opportunities that came our way.
We not only had a successful wholesale plant business, but we decided add a retail flair by buiding a 3,500 SF fresh air Butterfly Conservatory, (Covered in Butterflies), and hosting children's field trips, senior citizen outings, and guest of all ages from all around metro Atlanta. We had enough species of butterflies and other animals on our farm to keep people of all ages entertained, along with the peaceful setting of the butterfly conservatory that drew literally thousands of people during the spring and fall seasons. In fact, the Atlanta Journal and Constitution featured our farm on their page "Things to do in the Metro Atlanta area with children". Wow - what a compliment to us!
I had a life that I thought would stop nowhere. I now had three lovely children with a new daughter (another story, another time), valuable realestate in an upscale area, 18 employees now to help me with the business and my home, and wonderful AuPairs from all over the world to help with the children. Plus I was able to devote alot of time, actively involved with my children's activities as well as the ministries in my church. I would say that I was a religious person-I attended church regularly, served in the church, was a good person, but I soon learned that this wasn’t enough. Being Religious can sometimes be a cultural "lable" but being "Saved and a Follower of God" is a totally different ball-game!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mirrow Magic
Things are really sounding good up to this point, but actually this is when you walk into a concrete wall and are reminded that .....We are NOT in charge! We are not God! Stop bowing down in front of a full length mirrow each morning! Someone greater than us is in charge and has a plan for us. And remember that living in the 'Bible Belt' is scary. Too many people know about the Bible and there are alot of churches around, but there are few who KNOW THE LORD OF THE BIBLE AND HAVE A MOMENT BY MOMENT AND DAY BY DAY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. Too many of us think we have a ‘get out of hell free card' just by being a member of a church or knowing some Bible stories.
And think about this---- maybe we thought we were even being 'saved' at age 9 or 10 but living a life totally apart from God for decades upon decades. Actually, I was raised in a church where revival pastors talked about Hell and Sin so much that you thought that maybe they had been there - they knew so much about it.
I was still "proud of myself" and filling my plate, rather than giving all the credit for my earthy achievements to the Master Creator who gave them all to me for His Pleasure and Enjoyment. I agressively kept increasing the size of my business and the peremiters of my committments without discussing it with God first or surrendering it all to Him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I still remember the day when I didn't listen:
When things seem to "fit into place", well, you just think it is meant to be - you think that God is Blessing you - and you just soar into your own self - that's when you didn't talk to Him first about your life's choices. You only go to God when things are bad - and you think, well, I can handle this - I don't need God on this one - well, DUH???? Just who are we fooling? I can still remember when my demise began. I was standing on the hill of my property looking at the property next door for sale - all half million dollars of it - and I just felt that it was 'meant to be' - I 'had to have it'. It was everything we needed in order to double our company's size and be more profitable." In fact, it was everything I needed to have more money and to be able to buy vacation homes that I had been seriously looking at - one at the beach, the other in the mountains. It was going to be a GREAT DECISION - wow, did I get put in my place-
I was standing on the hill looking over at the property for sale, and it almost felt like I was being pushed sort of like when the wind is blowing against you. I felt something tell me that now wasn't the time for this. And I know now that it wasn't the pizza I had eaten the night before that gave me the knot in my stomach. I was expecting a baby, and I already had so much on my family's plate with a special needs son and another son that needed me so much.
But I planted my feet firmly into the ground and kept looking at what seemed so perfect, and I called the banker as I always did, and told him what I wanted to buy and we closed 3 days later. Remember, I was the woman who could do what I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It started happening in 2000.....
With over 200,000 sf of greenhouse production space and now servicing 5 states, a major client bankrupted and struck my company into financial devestation. And if that wasn't enough, our Butterfly Conservatory Director lost her life to brain cancer and is now in Heaven enjoying many beautiful butterflies. Few of us remained and we worked harder than ever, and everyone pitched in, because it had become a "lifestyle" for most, but yet some had to be laid off. Then on top of all the catastrophies, my long term assistant was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and had to resign to begin her emergency treatments. (She is now in remission, praise God) My wonderful Greenhouse Manager (soul mate) got involved with drugs and we had to ask him to leave, because he wasn't willing to receive the help we offered him. And my assistant manager continued to struggle with diabetes and the horrible pain it can bring upon you.
Even with this much devestation, we thought we could survive if we kept downsizing, but that didn't cut it either. I was still forgetting that it wasn't ME that could make it. I didn't pray - I didn't talk to God - I didn't surrender - I just worried.
Then I suffered a minor stroke, and it took a toll on me physically -- some things in which I think I am still recovering from. Soon after that, I was diagnosed with a paralysis illness that affects the larynx and results in a loss of speech. It took months to diagnose; but during that time, I could not speak audibly at all. And since I was the VOICE of the company, we lost business, lots and lots of it although some customers remained faithful. Faxing and e-mailing was a good alternative, but it still didn't cut it.
The company closed its doors as of December of 2004. We were down to myself and one loyal employee (hispanic, no doubt), but we just couldn't hold on. Covered in Bloom and Butterflies was gone - I was forced to sell my two homes for far less than they were worth, just to pay off bank loans. They sold quick, and that left myself and my children with nowhere to live............ homeless?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and then I had to make the toughest decision of my life.
With everything that was happening in our lives, it created a tremendous amount of stress on my children and myself. The only thing I knew to do was to ask my ex-husband if he would take the boys since he only lived about 3 miles away. I felt in my heart that it would only be temporary. It took councelling from mentors, family, my pastors and alot of prayer to make this decision. But my oldest son could not take these changes, and I didn't know what the next step would be. My daughter and I didn't have a home at the time, only just the bits and pieces of the farm were left.
And then during this horrible transition time, I was notified from my ex-husband that he would be moving with the children - he e-mailed a new address, a new telephone number which was over 500 miles away in the mountains of Virginia. I suppose I would have rethought that decision over and over had I known this was going to happen. Now it would become impossible to see them on a regular basis-all their soccer games, wrestling, school programs - IMPOSSIBLE. And to modify legally - well, that would take thousands of dollars, which is something I didn't have. And he was planning his new life and it didn't include making things easy for me to see the children as often as I could.
This was like the Greatest Death that you could ever face. A Mother doesn't lose her children - but somehow my greed, even though I didn't realize it at the time had cost me my family, my home, my business - my life! No-one can ever know the pain that I suffered through, and the pain that we all suffer through. This was also going to be my first Christmas without them. For 11 and 14 years, I had raised my two sons with limited visitation from my former husband (like is awarded in most divorces), and now it appeared that until they became of age to make their own choices, they would live far away from me with their dad.
I would somehow have to start humbling myself - because this wasn't supposed to happen. I wondered why was this happening to me, what had I done wrong - why does bad things happen to good people, just why would God allow this to happen. And I was reminded of Job - oh yea, this wasn't random selection - I was chosen - now Why? Why me? Why should I have to suffer like this? But I vowed to keep my faith in God because I knew that He would not let me down - even though I had made such a mess out of our lives. My God made me to want to love Him so intimately that I would depend on Him for my every movement and my every breath. Afterall, He created me for His Purpose, not My Purpose. The words of James 1: 2-4 was the answer.
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The Ruins
What was not sold was destroyed. I watched the farm being dismantled piece by piece; I wept with sadness of all the years of labor and love that had gone into building this dream company and I thought of my father who worked so hard while he was suffering with headaches, not knowing that this was the brain cancer that would end his life. I watched bulldozers pushing the materials into a large pile to be taken to landfields, and I just couldn't stand it. It was not only the greenhouses, the hundreds of thousands of plants that were still unsold on the grounds, but it was also my furniture and possessions that had been stored in a large greenhouse until we could buy a new home. The plastic had caved in during a harsh winter storm and everything was flooded, mildewed and ruined. A lifetime of pictures, collections of antiques, our clothing, everything - just like a fire, but a flood of rain, ice, and wind. It was brutally painful. I had to keep reminding myself that God didn't create me for comfort, but for character. Wow, was this ever a test!
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The Wake-Up Call
It was a cold and rainy winter, the kind that makes you depressed even if you don't have anything to be depressed about, but one day a beautiful blue sky opened and I looked into the Heavens and smiled at My King! The words of Matthew 6: 19 - 21 echoed through the vastness of the empty land and I suddenly realized that I am here for just a short while; and my life here is a dress rehearsal for what is to come. And the weaping stopped, I smiled, I chuckled and the sadness of the destruction dissappeared. The Lord spoke to me that day and reminded me that my earthly possessions were of no value. It was a very clear picture.
What great words - 'where your treasure is- there will be your heart' - I think I remixed that verse all my life - because I know where my treasure is - and it's with Christ and my heart is with him completely. You know, He was giving me Life's Greatest Gift- He released me of my enormous responsibilities and "stuff" I had accommulated in order to be able to serve Him greater! He taught me a valuable lesson of seeking his guidance First! He gave me this opportunity to use my website to tell others about how Faith in Jesus Christ can get you through the day and become your footsteps into Heaven. It reminds me that in the midst of the storm, His Grace is sufficient!
Yes, my "Commander and Chief" has bigger plans - I am certain of that - and He WILL reveal them to me. Because it isn't all over yet.
So right now I'm just hanging' out - just waiting - and you can be assured that my heart is open and my ears are quick to hear the Voice that guides me! Sure, I have some hopes and dreams that the farm will start over again on a much smaller scale, but there is no doubt that Christ will be the Master Builder.
So joyfully I lift my hands in praise, I thank the Maker who humbly brought me to my small home- (a real fixer-upper), a mini-farm that has potential, with a pond that reminds me 'who walked on water' - and where the sunset seems to never end - and the stars tuck me in each night.
God Bless you All; and as you read my Testimony, I'd love for you to share yours with me. Does this mean that we're perfect because we love God? Does this mean that we don't have train-wrecked lives? Absolutely not!!! In fact, I believe, based on God's word, that we are in a position to foul-up even greater - because when we put our trust in God, evil lurks and can snatch us up if we're not careful!
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So, What's Up Now - it's 2009?
The story continues when God began revealing His plans for me in May of 2007 - Four Greenhouses have been constructed by people who love me from my church family. And that story is another miracle in itself- My dear friend Nancy called me and asked me what I was doing on Memorial Day weekend? Silly me, I thought we were being invited to a picnic - well, no, a group of wonderful Christ Followers had volunteered to erect the greenhouses that weekend! And I had only mentioned greenhouses to her one time in all our conversations - that was certainly a God thing!
I serve as a part-time faculty member with my church of 14 years in Kingdom Kids (an hour away from home). I love every moment of my work - spending hours of your day thinking "God" is a good thing! That's when it's good to "take your work home with you".
I am busy working on my e-book and my video on "Talkin' bout Jesus". Do you sort of get the idea that I love to Talk about Jesus!
Many ask about my children -
*My daughter lives with me in our little home on the pond--An All-American Girl Home....Read about her on Logan's Lapbratz
*My sons still live in Virginia with their father, but visit as often as they can - it's tough - airline tickets are expensive and they get few week-long breaks like our schools in Georgia - But they are happy and well-adjusted - being teens, I suppose that it's good for them to have a father figure. And I know that my youngest son has become especially close to him, especially since his dad missed alot of his early childhood- I know that my son is aware of that and very sensitive to forgive his dad and love him back!
They are just like most children from broken families, they wish it had never happened.
*My oldest son has attended Woodrow Wilson Rehabilitation College for Post-Secondary Occupational training and job placement. It is my hope that in just a year from now, he will come home to live with us as we help him learn to live independantly (but here on our farm). He is growing big and strong and handsome and has held a part-time job while attending school and I'm so proud of him. That's one answer to a prayer!
* My middle son loves LaCrosse and is good at it - It would be his dream to have a scholorship~and the girls are just loving him (blonde hair/blue eyes Yoo-Hoo)! And he has attended a church with a family at the bottom of the mountain in the area that he lives in - Thank you Jerry, for driving up the mountain to pick up Connor every Sunday! I may never meet Jerry, but I know I'll see him in heaven!
We all miss each other enormously - there are never dry eyes as we meet and then have to part again. There have been several occasions that they have talked about coming home, but I suppose the timing isn't right (God's timing.........because I don't try to make things happen any longer)
You see, folks, God is BIG - so big that you can't shut doors on Him! He takes the bad and turns it into good - you can't always see it - but it does happen for those who trust Him. I just wish I would have trusted Him sooner - but you see, My God is like a Big Daddy up in the sky with a book in His lap, and each day He turns a page - and most of the page is written, but He gives us enough free will to fill in the blanks - It's my prayer that we will all think about those blank lines and fill them in with Love for one another and Trust for Our Lord!
And Me, well, I am so filled with the Love of Jesus Christ that if I had any more, I would just burst - I'm sure now that I have my permenant passport to Heaven - and my website ----it my prayer that you will examine yourself to make sure you have yours too! Please, do it - do it right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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In Summary
All through the Bible, we have examples of how God suddenly showed Himself strong on behalf of His people. But sometimes when we've struggled in an area for a long time, it's easy to just give up and accept things the way they are. One of the enemy’s favorite lies is to tell you that nothing is ever going to change. He’ll tell you that you’re never going to get well, that your marriage isn’t going to work out, that you’re never going to break that addiction. But I want to tell you today, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been in those circumstances, God can change things in an instant! In a split second of time, He can turn it all around. One touch of God’s power can heal your body. One touch of His favor can promote you. One touch of His goodness can solve that problem. Just one touch from Almighty God can instantly change your life.
Eternity is too long.............to be wrong!
Keep my site bookmarked
and most of all,
Be Covered in His Blessings!